Sunday, October 25, 2009

Evergreen

All of us, at some point of time or the other, take things for granted. Human nature, I guess. Even I do it. A lot. But worse, I end up acting all shocked and indignant when I realize what I've been taking for granted is slipping away from me, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Feels like a breach of trust by the other party, for going back on their promises. But what if the 'other party' is inanimate, and all those promises are just a product of my hyperactive imagination? All the more reason for getting upset, I’d say. Before you wonder what’s wrong with me, let me tell you myself.

Living on the east coast has its own advantages, one of the best being its seasonal diversity (you will not hear me say this during winter, when slush and subzero temperatures make me long for sultry Hyderabad even more. But since it’s not yet snowing, I can confidently say snow is my thing). Right now, Fall has unleashed its full glory and charm on my small town. From deep reds to golden yellows to the brightest of oranges, the range and intensity could put a rainbow to shame. Even a casual glance while walking across campus or looking out the window brings about a smile these days, and I have no attention left to spare for mundane thoughts when it’s all being held in captivity by nature.

Agreed, all this had almost made me forget that Fall is just a season, but you’d think it will stay on until at least end-of-sem (its ‘Fall semester’ for God’s sake!). But no, it had to go. The leaves had to start falling. And that’s what they’re busy doing. I was dead sure Fall would be longer, and I would have time to take in all of it, to explore pretty drives, to take enough pictures to hold this season in memory. Well, it wasn’t meant to be. Darn! I’d taken it for granted, and now it’s teaching me a lesson... for ignoring it (albeit unintentionally) when it was being good to me. Harsh, but just.

It got me thinking about human relationships, and I'm really glad they don't work that way. Dealing with blind justice when your feelings are involved is just not possible. And thankfully, people have never done that to me. At least those who really matter, whose presence has made a huge difference, who have touched my life in a special way making me a much better and happier person... I can go on and on praising the angels in my life, yet it will never be enough. No matter how much I take them for granted, their affection remains steadfast and their anger is just fleeting, ready to be relinquished over a single phone call or a short-n-sweet mail.

It means a lot to me, much more than I can express. And maybe that's why I don't often express gratitude for your unshakable trust. For putting up with my possessiveness, occasional crankiness and (a lot of) other idiosyncrasies with grace. For holding me responsible for your happiness. For your evergreen presence in my life, unlike fickle seasons that come and go. Here is to you, dearest family and friends! For being there... always.

11 comments:

  1. wha wha !!! kya baat hain !!! touch chesav !!

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  2. thats what family and friends are for.. :)
    to them, your happiness is more important than any praise and gratitude..

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  3. yeahh.. impermanence of events is THE hardest thing to come to terms with.. nice read, shambhavi :)

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  4. Let me count the ways you are now a firang
    1. "East Coast". What the heck is that?
    2. "Fall". Really!? Here, the leaves just stay on the trees. The only bright colours (that's 'colors' for you) you see are the ones on the advertising hoardings for the latest gult flick.
    3. "Snow". What's that? Frozen water? How?

    Other than that, I think you think way too much.
    And I see you haven't really changed. "For holding me responsible for your happiness"
    Flatter yourself much? :P

    Kidding mostly, you figure out which parts.
    I really do enjoy making fun of your writing. So do write more often!

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  5. @hydeous: thought of replies, retorts and suchlike... but if u really enjoy doing this, let's forget it :) u know what? u r right. i'm an obnoxious and utterly vain person. and yeah, i'm already a firang after an year of stay in the US of A... hey wow! i rhyme even in self-criticizing mode. i'm soooo good! :>

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  6. Aw! I'm sorry!
    You know I didn't mean any of that!
    I'm just sticking to the only thing I'm good at - making fun of people.
    Leg pulling aside, I really did enjoy reading this post. Do write more! (friends again? :P )

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  7. sorry??! what for? i was jus helping u pull my leg, please don't be upset at urself :P u know i didn't mean any of it, too ;)

    u don't have to go to the other extreme and lie about my writing now. 's ok... still friends :) (pizza still on!)

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